I am a truly lucky girl. Sure, my finances are whack. My education is at a halt. I live six hours away from my parents. But I have a wonderful boyfriend. The last three years of my life have been rough. But he's made it so much better. I spend so much time talking about the mushy things in our relationship. Now, however, I want to talk about my sex life with him.
The first night we hung out, I was a drunk mess. I had recently moved to this town. I only knew my roommate and a few of my coworkers. This particular night, I was invited out for a night of drinks with one of the girls frol my job. Eager to make friends, I jumped at the opportunity. Later on would be the first time I would hang out with my future boyfriend. He had come by to share some friendly bong interaction. He had aske to use my restroom. Still drunk, I was there to greet him when he came out. The alcohol gave me the nerve to put the moves on him as soon as he came out. We made out for a little bit. I tried to tale it further, but we had a third guest so we politely ended it.
We ontinued to hang out over the next few months. Strictly friends, no sexual contact. Over this time I developed some intense feelings for him. One evening, we were flirting and playing around. Somehow, my foot graced his groin region. He then revealed to mr that I had given h a slight boner. So I took my opportunity and moved over to sit next to him. I asked politely if I could touch it and he immediately approved. He was fully clothed, but I was taken aback by the size of his penis. I'll never forget what he said when I told him that I thought it was big. He smoothly responded: "this is nothing. I still have shorts and boxers on."
About a month later, we finally had intercourse. It was amazing. Each time we have sex, he completely fills me up. To the point where I can feel him hitting my cervix. It feels like he is in my stomach. No matter what kind of sex we have, it's always amazing. I love to be on top of him. It feels empowering. I always feel like Pam Anderson in her sex tape with Tommy Lee where she is playing with his penis and saying "see what I get for the rest of my life." it's simply amazing. He always feels so good.
The best part- I had true feelings for this man before becoming aware of his large size. When I discovered it, it was almost like Christmas. I really am lucky :)
Friday, September 24, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
My Dream Travel Destination...
This is a picture of the super beautiful Naples, Italy. It is my origin of heritage. My grandfather immigrated from Naples in 1925. Therefore, it is one of the main places I want to go before I die.
I have been out of the country a handful of times. Once to Canada and several times to Nassau in The Bahamas several times. I lived in South Florida from the time that I was born until I was 21 years old. A certain cruise line offered great deals to Florida residents. $165 to go from Fort Lauderdale, Florida to the Bahamas for the weekend. It's only about 90 miles, and since the drinking age is only 18 in international waters, my friends and I went numerous times. Infect, in my senior year, we took our class trip on this boat. 220 drunk 18-year-olds. We pretty much over ran the entire cruise ship. We all had the times of our lives.
Now though, I am really starting to get the urge to do more traveling. I want to see the world. I don't aspire to be filthy rich with lots of cars, $600 high heels, and mansions. But if I came across a lot of money, I'd get a passport and head out. And Naples would be my first choice. I had a hard time choosing a picture. They were all so beautiful, but this one really stuck out to me.
On top of Naples, I would love to visit the rest of Italy. I'm curious to know about the place that my family originated from. I carry an Italian last name. It only seems proper to go to the place that my name is from.
Besides Italy, there are many other places I want to see:
-Paris, France. I've always dreamt of falling in love in Paris. However, since I'm already in love, I now dream of going there with my boyfriend. Matt is the love of my life. Nothing seems it could be more romantic and fulfilling to fall in love all over again in Paris. Call me cliche. Call me a hopeless romantic. It's all okay. It seems like a real dream.
-Amsterdam, The Netherlands. I've heard some great stories about Amsterdam. It's a stoner's paradise. A friend of mine who has been there said that there are "registered pot sellers." He was approached by several people as soon as he got off the plane. He also mentioned there being marijuana on the menus in several restaurants (or coffee shops, whatever). Imagine this: "yes, I will take a tall latte and a side of two joints." LOL. I'm not a smoker. I was in my younger days, but I eventually grew up. However, this just sounds awesome.
-Hawaii. Yes, it's obviously part of America. But it's so far from us Floridians, that the travel distance is equal to visiting another country. The scenery is so beautiful. I used to be a total beach bum when I lived near the water. I could most definitely see myself laying in a hammock in Hawaii with a frozen margarita in hand. Nothing could top that.
-China. It may be overpopulated. They make take all of our manufacturing from America. But I hear that the architecture over there is amazing.
-Columbia, The Virgin Islands, Jamaica. Really anywhere that is near beautiful water.
I could probably go on forever. I'll never have the money to do all of this, unless I win the lottery. But a girl can always dream, can't she?
The art, passion, and beauty of music
Music is so much more than what we hear on the radio. In fact, a good amount of the music out there today is crap. Synthesizers and techno beats, in my opinion, are NOT music. And it's not a display of talent. It just means that you have access to today's technology. Our generation seems to have lost track of REAL musical talent. There's a few good rock bands, don't get me wrong. But we have surely been robbed of jam bands. That's why so many of us listen to music that is older than we are! Sure, I enjoy some of today's music. But they don't have the talent of great bands such as Pink Floyd or Journey. Bands that you can blast and jump up and down on your bed playing the air guitar to. Or talents like Elton John and Billy Joel. I love to close my eyes, sing loudly, and play air piano to their songs. It's this kind of music that you can feel.
Recently, my boyfriend introduced me to the movie "August Rush." And I loved it! It's awesome that this little boy can hear any noise and turn it into a musical rythym. Music is something that touches your soul. Something you can feel inside of you. No matter how bad of a day that I have had, I can always put on music and heal myself. Which really makes me think about my own music days.
I was in the school band for a few years. I started playing the clarinet in the 6th grade. I took the class as am elective. Reading music and playing clarinet seemed to come so naturally to me. I started doing really well in band class. I always complained about practicing. I complained even MORE when my Mom put me in extra music lessons after school. Even though I didn't practice much, I still did better than many of my bandmates. In the 7th grade, I was placed into the 8th grade band, leaving several of my friends behind.
I continued band in high school. I was part of the marching band. We had a great teacher and a HUGE band. Even with all of these people on the field, our band was still great. We kicked ass at all of our competitions. We were super impressive. We worked hard everyday in class and several times a week at practice. Those days were some of the best days of my life. I fit in well with everyone. In fact, it was the only thing that I was ever good at. I was a pretty average student in regards to grades. But music-- I shined in the category... Unfortunately, the mind of a high school student revolves around social status. And on the social scene, band is NOT cool. Especially after American Pie came out and band camp was never looked upon the same way. So, being seventeen and dying to be popular, I gave up my passion to hang out with the "cool" kids.
That was one of the biggest mistake of my life. I tried to act like I didn't like it. I even tried convincing myself that I didn't like it. In reality, I just didn't like the fact that it was messing with my social status. Now, I barely talk to any of those people that I gave up music for. I have a LOT of regret for that. I mean, hell, I had FREE music lessons. All the way from learning to read music to advanced playing and marching. And my parents paid for my instruments and all of my extra material. All I had to do is learn and play. But I was "too cool" for it. How pathetic is that?!?
Lately, I've been getting the urge to start playing again. Since it's been about six years since I've picked my clarinet up, I'm basically starting from scratch. I don't even have a clarinet anymore. So I have decided to start saving and buy a new instrument. Cause now that I am less than two months shy of turning twenty-four, I realize that playing music is the only thing I was ever good at. I'm not a school super genius. I can't play sports. I can't cook. But I was damn good at playing clarinet. Maybe in a couple years I'll be good enough again to join a local adult band. But I will have to work on it a lot. Back to square one. My boyfriend better get ready to hear lots of squeaks coming from our bedroom. Cause it's definitely hard to avoid squeaking.
So the moral of my story is to follow your dreams. If you are good at something, stick with it. No matter what others think or say. Because if you do what I did, you'll wind up regretting it. Not only do I have go back track and start over, but I also missed out on opportunities to be an extremely advanced player. But, I can't regret my decision too much. It's too late now. For now, I will just make it a point to practice as much as I can. Once I start, I know that I will re-find the passion in me that is music.
I now know
Recently, my boyfriend introduced me to the movie "August Rush." And I loved it! It's awesome that this little boy can hear any noise and turn it into a musical rythym. Music is something that touches your soul. Something you can feel inside of you. No matter how bad of a day that I have had, I can always put on music and heal myself. Which really makes me think about my own music days.
I was in the school band for a few years. I started playing the clarinet in the 6th grade. I took the class as am elective. Reading music and playing clarinet seemed to come so naturally to me. I started doing really well in band class. I always complained about practicing. I complained even MORE when my Mom put me in extra music lessons after school. Even though I didn't practice much, I still did better than many of my bandmates. In the 7th grade, I was placed into the 8th grade band, leaving several of my friends behind.
I continued band in high school. I was part of the marching band. We had a great teacher and a HUGE band. Even with all of these people on the field, our band was still great. We kicked ass at all of our competitions. We were super impressive. We worked hard everyday in class and several times a week at practice. Those days were some of the best days of my life. I fit in well with everyone. In fact, it was the only thing that I was ever good at. I was a pretty average student in regards to grades. But music-- I shined in the category... Unfortunately, the mind of a high school student revolves around social status. And on the social scene, band is NOT cool. Especially after American Pie came out and band camp was never looked upon the same way. So, being seventeen and dying to be popular, I gave up my passion to hang out with the "cool" kids.
That was one of the biggest mistake of my life. I tried to act like I didn't like it. I even tried convincing myself that I didn't like it. In reality, I just didn't like the fact that it was messing with my social status. Now, I barely talk to any of those people that I gave up music for. I have a LOT of regret for that. I mean, hell, I had FREE music lessons. All the way from learning to read music to advanced playing and marching. And my parents paid for my instruments and all of my extra material. All I had to do is learn and play. But I was "too cool" for it. How pathetic is that?!?
Lately, I've been getting the urge to start playing again. Since it's been about six years since I've picked my clarinet up, I'm basically starting from scratch. I don't even have a clarinet anymore. So I have decided to start saving and buy a new instrument. Cause now that I am less than two months shy of turning twenty-four, I realize that playing music is the only thing I was ever good at. I'm not a school super genius. I can't play sports. I can't cook. But I was damn good at playing clarinet. Maybe in a couple years I'll be good enough again to join a local adult band. But I will have to work on it a lot. Back to square one. My boyfriend better get ready to hear lots of squeaks coming from our bedroom. Cause it's definitely hard to avoid squeaking.
So the moral of my story is to follow your dreams. If you are good at something, stick with it. No matter what others think or say. Because if you do what I did, you'll wind up regretting it. Not only do I have go back track and start over, but I also missed out on opportunities to be an extremely advanced player. But, I can't regret my decision too much. It's too late now. For now, I will just make it a point to practice as much as I can. Once I start, I know that I will re-find the passion in me that is music.
I now know
Thursday, August 26, 2010
What We Take For Granted
We take so much for granted in life. Some may blame it on the fact that were "spoiled, ungreatful Americans". That's probably true. But there are plenty of simple things in life that we don't really think about, but take complete advantage of.
HEALTH. I never really gave it much thought in the past. But I have been really ungreatful for being healthy. This became really evident when I started working with someone who is unhealthy. This guy is not only diabetic, but his body also does not produce enough hormones. Several times a day, he has to inject himself with hormones and insulin. Just to survive. Something as simple as eating a donut can send him into shock if he doesn't have enough insulin to inject... I also work close to one of the best hospitals in Florida. A few days a week, I talk to people that are forced to drive several hours to have all kinds of tests and medicines administered... This makes me realize how ungreatful I have been for my health. Something as simple as getting out of bed every day and going about my life is something that not everyone has. I really only get sick about once a year. And here are people that struggle with their health everyday. Just to stay alive. And here I am, complaining about dumb things with my perfect health.
PARENTS. I don't know how I will raise a teenager. Because I was quite a handful. Everything was "unfair" or "total bullshit". Now, at 23, it all seems so pety. I remember telling my Mom that I "hate her" because she wouldn't let me go to the 50 cent & Eminem concert. Such harsh and cruel words for someone who was just trying to protect me. I had way less rules than any kid I knew. I thought that having a 2 a.m. curfew was the end of the world. What's interesting now is that I rarely stay out late anyway. I should have been greatful for free rent, free food, a free ride, and someone to do my laundry. Nowadays, that sounds frigging AWESOME. I was such an ungreatful bitch back then.
FAMILY AND LOVERS. I find myself so often taking my family for granted. I go days wirhout talking to them and ignoring their phone calls and texts. I used to tell my Mom, repeatedly, to stay out of my life and leave me alone. Now I see my parents three times a year. I'd
give anything to have those days back. Some people have no families... In addition, I should be more greatful for my boyfriernd. Many people don't have lovers, or abusive lovers. Everyday I get to wake up next to a gorgeous man who treats me right. That makes me super lucky.
FREEDOM. As an American, I was born into freedom. Not all people in this world are that fortunate. As a society, were pretty much all ungreatful for this. Simply leaving our homes and grabbing a gallon of milk may seem like a HUGE deal to those in other countries.
Maybe, as my life moves on, I'll stop to analyze life and really appreciate the little things. Because I don't know if I could survive. I hope that ons of these days, I'll realize how lucky I really am.
HEALTH. I never really gave it much thought in the past. But I have been really ungreatful for being healthy. This became really evident when I started working with someone who is unhealthy. This guy is not only diabetic, but his body also does not produce enough hormones. Several times a day, he has to inject himself with hormones and insulin. Just to survive. Something as simple as eating a donut can send him into shock if he doesn't have enough insulin to inject... I also work close to one of the best hospitals in Florida. A few days a week, I talk to people that are forced to drive several hours to have all kinds of tests and medicines administered... This makes me realize how ungreatful I have been for my health. Something as simple as getting out of bed every day and going about my life is something that not everyone has. I really only get sick about once a year. And here are people that struggle with their health everyday. Just to stay alive. And here I am, complaining about dumb things with my perfect health.
PARENTS. I don't know how I will raise a teenager. Because I was quite a handful. Everything was "unfair" or "total bullshit". Now, at 23, it all seems so pety. I remember telling my Mom that I "hate her" because she wouldn't let me go to the 50 cent & Eminem concert. Such harsh and cruel words for someone who was just trying to protect me. I had way less rules than any kid I knew. I thought that having a 2 a.m. curfew was the end of the world. What's interesting now is that I rarely stay out late anyway. I should have been greatful for free rent, free food, a free ride, and someone to do my laundry. Nowadays, that sounds frigging AWESOME. I was such an ungreatful bitch back then.
FAMILY AND LOVERS. I find myself so often taking my family for granted. I go days wirhout talking to them and ignoring their phone calls and texts. I used to tell my Mom, repeatedly, to stay out of my life and leave me alone. Now I see my parents three times a year. I'd
give anything to have those days back. Some people have no families... In addition, I should be more greatful for my boyfriernd. Many people don't have lovers, or abusive lovers. Everyday I get to wake up next to a gorgeous man who treats me right. That makes me super lucky.
FREEDOM. As an American, I was born into freedom. Not all people in this world are that fortunate. As a society, were pretty much all ungreatful for this. Simply leaving our homes and grabbing a gallon of milk may seem like a HUGE deal to those in other countries.
Maybe, as my life moves on, I'll stop to analyze life and really appreciate the little things. Because I don't know if I could survive. I hope that ons of these days, I'll realize how lucky I really am.
My thoughts and feelings
New blog! This should be interesting. I used to have an online journal, but this is my first blog, ever....
I hate school. Pretty much always have. Who knows? I probably always will. My mother always tried to get me interested. But I never was. Straight out of high school, I flew through my first two years of college. I got a two-year degree in about a year and a half. And then my education came to a screeching halt. I was accepted into the best university in Florida for journalism. I didn't even make it through my first semester. I just couldn't find the motivation to do it. I also felt so out of my league. I was surrounded by lots of smart, well educated, students. I was so out of place. I lost interest quickly. Since then, I have been trying hard to find a subject that interests me.
It seems pretty unfair. Plenty of people seem to find it easy to know what they want to do with their lives. Not myself. Hell, I remember being in the 2nd grade with a kid who wanted badly to become a meterologist. Now, he's almost finished with college and moving onto a meterology job. I envy his easy decision.
Is it bad that I would be happy with being a stay-at-home Mom? When did being a house wife become so looked down upon? Although I've never known what to do IN life, I've always known what I've wanted OUT of life. And that is to become a Mommy. I've always dreamt of having kids. I know they would fulfill my life. They are a lot of work, but I am almost positive that the outcome is more rewarding than any job out there.
So why isn't "Mother" an acceptable occupation?
I hate school. Pretty much always have. Who knows? I probably always will. My mother always tried to get me interested. But I never was. Straight out of high school, I flew through my first two years of college. I got a two-year degree in about a year and a half. And then my education came to a screeching halt. I was accepted into the best university in Florida for journalism. I didn't even make it through my first semester. I just couldn't find the motivation to do it. I also felt so out of my league. I was surrounded by lots of smart, well educated, students. I was so out of place. I lost interest quickly. Since then, I have been trying hard to find a subject that interests me.
It seems pretty unfair. Plenty of people seem to find it easy to know what they want to do with their lives. Not myself. Hell, I remember being in the 2nd grade with a kid who wanted badly to become a meterologist. Now, he's almost finished with college and moving onto a meterology job. I envy his easy decision.
Is it bad that I would be happy with being a stay-at-home Mom? When did being a house wife become so looked down upon? Although I've never known what to do IN life, I've always known what I've wanted OUT of life. And that is to become a Mommy. I've always dreamt of having kids. I know they would fulfill my life. They are a lot of work, but I am almost positive that the outcome is more rewarding than any job out there.
So why isn't "Mother" an acceptable occupation?
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